


Shattered Dreams

by Imrryr



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Angst, F/F, Femslash, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-20
Updated: 2012-09-21
Packaged: 2017-11-08 04:28:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/439151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imrryr/pseuds/Imrryr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They say that the Taint destroys everything it touches."</p>
<p>A story in which Lyna Mahariel never becomes the Hero of Ferelden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *waves* The following story is substantially more angsty than my usual fare. I apologize for that, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone.
> 
> So, what follows is my idea of what transpired during the Dalish elf origin story without Duncan being there to save Mahariel from the darkspawn taint. It primarily focuses on the relationship between Lyna Mahariel and Merrill.
> 
> Dragon Age is the property of Bioware. Portions of dialogue are taken from Dragon Age Origins, though I had to rewrite Merrill's lines quite a bit in order to make her sound a little more like her Dragon Age II self.
> 
> Rated M for violence, possible character death, and adult situations between two consenting female elves. I think I made that last bit clear in the summary, but you never know.

"Shattered Dreams" by Imrryr

Chapter 1 of 5

...

During the year of the Fifth Blight...

...

Cautiously, the elven hunter approached his prey. Something was rustling in the grove ahead but whatever it might be, it didn't seem particularly concerned about masking its movements. Perhaps it was a bear... _or a shem_. Neither were creatures he particularly wanted to meet today, but honestly, he'd prefer dealing with a bear; bears were more reasonable and he'd never known a bear to lead a war-party back to camp.

It was a warm and pleasant day in the Brecilian forest; perfect weather for hunting. He'd hate for the shemlens to come along and spoil things.

Ducking under a branch, the hunter slowly drew back his bow as he passed carefully between the ferns and bushes. From behind the lush green leaves of a willow tree he caught a flash of reflected light and the barest hint of light skin from the grove ahead.

_'A shem then...'_ he realized. _'Fantastic.'_

Holding back a sigh that only would've given away his location, the hunter gently nudged the hanging leaves aside and peered into the clearing. He stopped right where he was. It wasn't a shem at all. In the middle of the grove was his best friend and clan mate Lyna Mahariel spinning around with her arms outstretched and giggling like a child. For a second he grew concerned, had Lyna broken into one of those shemlen whiskey distilleries scattered about the edge of the forest? For her sake Tamlen hoped not. Not long ago, Junar had done just that and to this day was still forbidden from hunting by himself.

Stepping out into the clearing, he was slightly put off by how the dancing elf barely acknowledged his presence. All he got was a weak "Hi, Tamlen" in response before she went back to her strange spinning and giggling routine.

Eyes narrowing, the hunter stared suspiciously at her. Lyna looked _far_ too pleased with herself, but at least he was certain he could smell no alcohol on her. "All right, out with it, lethallan. What happened?"

Lyna's dreamy expression never faded as she gracefully danced and softly hummed her way around the clearing, jumping from rock to rock. She had always been one of the most agile hunters in the clan and apparently that agility manifested itself while she danced too. With what could almost be considered divine timing, the sun came out from behind the clouds and bathed the grove in its warm, yellow light. That at least was enough to get her to finally pay some attention to him. "Hmm?" she mumbled as she hopped down from the boulder she had been on, a typically warm expression on her face.

"I haven't seen you this happy since..." He paused and furrowed his brow as he thought about this, "well, since forever, really." Certainly, Lyna had a naturally cheerful personality, but this was a bit much even for her.

Her eyes slowly met Tamlen's and the corners of her lips twitched up as she held back a smile, her big bright eyes sparkling like sapphires. Lyna had her chest thrust out with her hands clapped together behind her back. She looked like a novice hunter who had just bagged her first kill for the clan; struggling to hold back her elation because that's what the elders expected, yet fidgeting with pride in herself.

Eventually, she dipped her head. "I kissed her," she said finally, a blush creeping onto her face.

Tamlen's jaw dropped open and hung there for several long seconds before words could finally come to him, "You _kissed_ her?"

Lyna nodded proudly. She repeated the words, taking time to savor each one, "I. Kissed. Her."

Then, as if the full reality of it had only just sunk in, she gave a delighted squeal and fell onto the grass with a heavy thump.

Tamlen shook his head. That must've been some kiss.

He knelt over the young woman and mussed up her short black hair. "Congratulations. I'm happy for you, lethallan."

Nodding, she sighed dreamily as she lay there on her back. The way Lyna hummed contentedly to herself, fingers tapping a strange rhythm on her bare abdomen, Tamlen had no doubt that his friend was reliving every moment of her recent experience in exquisite detail...

* * *

Earlier that morning...

...

Lyna Mahariel carefully whittled away at the small wooden figure in her hand. Carving was something she had practiced every day since she had been old enough to be allowed to hold a knife. But this carving was special; it was a representation of Mythal the protector, and it was a gift; a gift for _Merrill_. It had to be perfect.

It was common for the Dalish to give a gift to the one they loved, and amongst her fellow hunters that usually meant killing a large and dangerous animal; a bear or a wolf, for example.

But though Lyna was a _very_ skilled hunter if she did say so herself, it seemed tasteless to give Merrill such a gift. What kind of statement would a dead animal make? _'Here Merrill, have this mountain lion. I killed it just for you. You can see just_ _how much I love you_ _in its cold, lifeless eyes.'_ No, that wouldn't do at all.

No, Merrill was more the quiet and studious sort. Though trained in combat - as all Dalish were to some extent - as the First of the clan she was much more interested in the history of her people than putting her magic skills to the test against wild animals, let alone hunting as Lyna did.

Not only was the First intended to one day lead the clan, he or she would also responsible for knowing all the ancient lore of their people. Every time the hunters found a new artifact from their forgotten past it was the Keeper's job to interpret the findings and to keep that knowledge for posterity. Merrill once told her that the tiniest scrap of paper from the days of ancient Arlathan might contain some long forgotten secret that changed everything for elves all over Thedas.

That was why Merrill spent much of her time buried in books, or studying the small collection of ancient relics the clan possessed. And when she had a free moment, Lyna liked to join her, though she often never said a thing out of fear of disturbing the young woman. She was more than content to listen to the sound of Merrill's beautiful voice as she thought out loud, occasionally explaining things for her benefit.

Of course, Lyna was interested in the history of her people too. It was just, between hunting to feed the clan and fending off interlopers - be they animal or human - she just didn't have much time to study such things. That was another reason she kept quiet around Merrill; she was fearful of making an idiot out of herself by opening her mouth. It was enough to simply be in First's presence. She had been so shy when she first came to the clan as a young girl. Even today, after more than ten years amongst the Sabrae, Merrill still had few friends. Perhaps that was always the way it was with Keepers and their apprentices, Lyna supposed. Regardless, she was more than a little proud of herself that Merrill would sometimes seek out her company.

Carefully, she worked on Mythal's face with her small, yet very sharp knife. The vallaslin had to be just right. Just like the ears she had finished yesterday.

The only reason she had time to work on her carving at this moment was that she completely blew off her training with Master Ilen. She sighed when she contemplated just how angry he was going to be with her later, but Lyna wanted to finish her secret project soon... tonight, if at all possible.

Besides, Master Ilen was getting old. Maybe it would slip his mind?

Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one who might be angry at her come this evening.

Her eyes glanced over at the ancient tome she had brought with her. The generations old book was lying there on a stump, completely unopened as it had been since sunrise. Lyna sighed. She really should be reading it but she couldn't help it. It was hard for her to sit down and read a book no matter how interesting the subject was. She preferred to listen to the tales spoken aloud; especially if they were being told by a certain dark haired elf.

Surely, Lyna had reasoned, Merrill would want a mate who was as well versed in Elven lore as herself. Hence why she had temporarily _borrowed_ the book from the Keeper.

She prayed Marathari wouldn't notice its absence.

And she tried to stamp down that voice that told her she was only reading it to impress Merrill.

It seemed she was _always_ doing things to impress Merrill. A single smile from the shy and reclusive elf would stay with Lyna for days afterwards and brighten her every waking moment. There was nothing like it in all the world.

"What are you doing here, lethallan?"

Lyna squeaked in surprise and her knife slipped, slicing her ring finger open. "Elgar'nan!" she cried out, the blood spattered figurine fell to the ground.

Quickly, Merrill was beside her and without a word gently grabbed Lyna's wounded hand. The huntress looked up at her with wide, questioning eyes. She felt like an idiot, but all of a sudden Lyna no longer cared if she was bleeding to death.

With the faintest flash of green light, the wound sealed itself. It didn't heal completely, Merrill hadn't mastered the art of healing magic - might never master it - but she could mend a small wound and at least stop the bleeding.

When she finally spoke, Lyna stuttered, her voice sounding surprisingly breathy to her own ears, "T - Thank you."

"I never thought I would ever catch a _hunter_ by surprise," the other elf joked, her voice twinkling with mirth.

Lyna just sat there, her lips slightly parted. There was that smile again, and on top of that she couldn't remember Merrill having ever touched her before, not like this, and certainly not since she had gone and fallen in love with her.

Merrill's fingers weren't callused like her own. They were soft, and warm and pulsed with magic that even Lyna, who had no magical talent whatsoever, could feel. There was a power there that dwarfed any strength of her own.

And she'd gladly cut her hand every day if it meant Merrill would hold her like that.

Still smiling, Merrill finally let go and picked up the piece of wood Lyna had dropped and forgotten entirely.

"What's this?" she asked, turning the small carving of Mythal wielding her bow around in her small hands.

Lyna's face turned red, Merrill definitely wasn't supposed to see that until she was finished carving it. And then... well, she didn't know... She'd take Merrill to someplace beautiful - like the edge of a lake under the moon, perhaps? - and give it to her there, once she had taken a few more weeks to work up the nerve and figure out exactly what she should say. "It's... um... well... it's Mythal," she finally managed to spit out. She had been halfway through carving the figure's vallaslin - the blood writing that all Dalish received on their faces when they came of age - would Merrill notice?

The way the elf's lips parted ever so slightly seemed to indicate that she had. Merrill ran a slender finger over the carving's face. "Her vallaslin... they look like mine."

_'Oh, creators!'_ "I... uh..."

The elf ran her hands over the figure's ears and short hair. It was clear that she was putting it all together.

"You made Mythal look like me?"

Thinking clearly while in Merrill's presence was apparently completely impossible, that was the only way to rationalize what came out of her mouth next, "I wanted to make her beautiful."

In the silence that followed Lyna nearly fainted when she fully comprehended what she had just said. When Merrill looked away, Lyna's eyes darted left and right. How bad would it be if she just bolted for the woods, never to be seen again? _'If only there was a nice bottomless hole I could throw myself into...'_

Thankfully, Merrill was still sitting there. Her face was flushed, perhaps in embarrassment, but at least she hadn't run away or laughed in Lyna's face.

"Oh," Merrill said simply, her green eyes wide.

Yep. A bottomless hole was looking really good right about now, Lyna thought. Perhaps she would start digging one when Merrill finally let her down easy with something along the lines of, _'That's really sweet, Lyna, b_ _ut I just don't think of you li-'_

"I don't think Mythal would've had vallaslin, to be honest," Merrill finally said into the gathering silence.

Lyna's heart sank; she hadn't even considered that.

"But perhaps," the First continued, lifting up a finger to trace the intricate designs tattooed on Lyna's own face, "you should've made her look more like you... If you wanted her to look beautiful, I mean."

Again, Lyna found herself unable to speak, she could only stare dumbly at the girl as the heat from her too brief touch lingered on her face.

Merrill was smiling at her again, a dazzling smile that made the hunter's heart flutter. "Everyone thinks I'm absent-minded and that I don't notice a lot of things... but I notice _you_. And _you_ are more than beautiful."

Lyna's jaw dropped, she never imagined Merrill saying such a thing to her. "Y – you think so?"

A nod. " _And_ smart, and clever," she added as she rubbed the little wooden figurine still in her left hand, "and you're talented in so many things: carving, hunting -"

Lyna beamed. Merrill's words were doing wonders for her self-esteem.

"- and you've always been interested in our ancient lore," she finished, nodding knowingly at the book still lying on the tree stump. "Isn't that the Keeper's book?"

The huntress nodded, her eyes shut to keep herself from giggling.

Merrill giggled too, but then her expression fell as she looked away, "I just... I thought that surely one of the hunters would be better suited -"

Before she could continue, Lyna reached over and gently lifted up Merrill's chin with one slender finger. Their eyes met, blue orbs staring deeply into green ones that put the forest to shame with their vibrancy. Her heart pounding, Lyna knew it was time to let Merrill know, "I don't want one of the hunters. I want _you_."

Lyna had never seen anyone blush such a deep shade of crimson. The First's voice was meek, "I'm nothing special, Lyna."

The huntress pushed forward, taking Merrill's hands in hers. "You _are_ though. You have the old gifts, and you know so much about our people's ways. If anyone is fit to lead us, it's you. If anyone can give us back what we've lost, it will be you."

Merrill's blush traveled down her neck and under her robes but Lyna's firm grip kept her from looking away again.

"And more importantly: you're sweet, and beautiful," the huntress continued. "There's no one in the clan like you."

"I don't know about that," she whispered, staring entranced into Lyna's bright blue eyes.

Lyna leaned in closer with each word, "Merrill... is it okay if I –"

The other girl swallowed, eyes darting to Lyna's lips then back to her eyes, and nodded almost imperceptibly. With an encouraging smile, Lyna drew closer and closer until their lips finally met.

It was better than even her wildest dreams, and she dreamed of this often. Merrill's lips felt warm and wonderfully soft.

In her dreams, the first kiss was always sweet but short, so she was surprised when Merrill's arms wrapped themselves around her back and the kiss never ended.

_'Elgarnan! Where did she learn to kiss like that?'_ Lyna felt her heart pounding, harder than it would've if she had been racing through the forest with a pack of wolves nipping at her heels. Merrill ran her hands up her back and made the most wonderful moaning noises she had ever heard.

The feeling of nails digging into her skin inflamed her and as they embraced, and without even meaning to, Lyna gently pushed Merrill to the ground and straddled her lap. Unconsciously, her hips pressed into Merrill's own and her strong legs entwined with Merrill's slender ones.

She'd fantasized about this moment for months. Her mind raced with all the things she wanted to do for Merill... and _to Merrill_. She'd show Merrill just how much she loved her and she would prove herself as the best possible mate for her.

Eventually, they were forced to pause for breath, Lyna resting her forehead on Merrill's as she gasped, her lips swollen. Merrill chuckled. "If this is what happens every time you injure yourself, maybe you should get injured more often," she joked. Then her eyes grew wide, "N-not too badly though. I can't heal big injuries."

Lyna drew back slightly but only giggled at Merrill's babbling; it was just another thing she loved about the woman. During their embrace she had pinned the First's hands to the grassy forest floor underneath her own. The hunter in her reveled in their current predicament. _"_ Mmm... _"_ she murmured, as she closed her eyes and concentrated fully on what she was feeling. Merrill's body was surprisingly firm yet oh so wonderfully soft.

"Lyna?"

The hunter stiffened. "Sorry!" she squeaked, letting go of the First's hands and sitting up quickly.

Merrill's own face was just as flushed as she propped herself up on her elbows. "I wasn't complaining, emma leth," she said, running a hand through Lyna's short hair, brushing by a sensitive ear as she did so. "It's just that the Keeper will want to know where I've been, and aren't you supposed to be with Master Ilen?"

Relieved she hadn't pushed her kiss too far, Lyna giggled and nodded her head. They could continue _this_ later, she thought.

She was about to get up when Merrill's hand wrapped around her waist and kept her seated on her lap. Gently, she ran her left hand up and down the huntress' exposed bicep. Lyna luxuriated in the sensation. If Merrill was examining her – sizing her up as a mate - she hoped she passed the test.

"You're really strong," the First murmured, the green of her eyes darker than Lyna had ever seen them before.

She tried, she really did, but she couldn't stop the proud grin that formed on her face.

* * *

 _'Emma leth,'_ she thought. _'She called me her love.'_ It was all she could do to keep herself from squealing with happiness again.

"I take it she kissed back?"

Lyna glanced over at her friend and nodded. _'Did she ever...'_

Tamlen had joined Lyna in lying down on the soft forest floor. "So," he drawled, "one day you'll be the Keeper's mate. Not a bad deal when you think about it."

Lyna was scandalized. "That's not why I'm after Merrill!"

"No," he agreed. "I can imagine why you're after her," he said dryly.

The woman blushed. "Shut up..." She certainly wouldn't mind that becoming more intimately acquainted with her... but being near Merrill was enough for the moment. Making the woman smile and laugh, sitting there in her tent, watching as she investigated some ancient elven artifact, that was all more than enough. She was so very beautiful when she got wrapped up in studying objects from the past or when she excitedly recited to Lyna some old elven story. The enthusiasm she had for elven history was contagious.

"So, tell me, lethallan. Why her? Why not one of the hunters?"

Lyna frowned at the thought. Everyone who knew about her crush had asked that exact same question. It wasn't like there weren't any good prospects among the hunters, they'd say, sometimes making it clear that they were the one Lyna should be seeking. But she didn't care. Merrill just felt like... she felt like the other half of her somehow. If she bonded with Merrill, then Lyna knew she would be complete.

Lyna's words came out as an embarrassed whisper, "She's cute, and beautiful, and she knows so much about our people..." she trailed off for a moment, "Did you see her when we found those ancient scrolls in that underground vault last year?

"The worthless ones?"

"Yeah." Those scrolls were nearly completely illegible, but still, Merrill spent weeks trying to decipher them. "You should've seen her, Tamlen. She was so passionate about it. I've never seen her so excited." She'd never seen _anyone_ in their entire clan so excited.

"Passionate," Tamlen said, chuckling slightly, "right." He obviously didn't see it.

"And her laugh..." she added wistfully.

"Merrill laughs?" His raised eyebrow asked the question. "She always seems so serious."

"Mmmmhmmm," Lyna drawled. "She laughs at my jokes."

"Huh," he replied dryly. "Well, I suppose someone was bound to find them funny eventually."

"Hey!" Lyna rolled over onto her side long enough to give Tamlen a solid punch to the shoulder.

"Oww!" he cried out, sitting up and rubbing his arm. He was practically pouting. "Does she know how abusive you are?"

Lyna rolled her eyes when she sat up. She and Tamlen had treated each other like this since they were children. No wonder half the clan thought they would eventually bond with each other.

The glint returned to his eyes. "So... um, does this mean you'll be the First's... _first_?"

Lyna's expression turned horrified and she pushed him away forcefully. "Tamlen!"

"Hey! Watch the shoulder!"

The huntress snorted indignantly and fell back to the ground. There were some things she would just never be able to discuss with Tamlen, no matter how many years they knew each other.

They continued to sit there as the sun fell and passed behind the trees. Lyna observed the forms the scattered clouds took as they traveled slowly overhead: a fox, a cluster of spear-points and something that looked a little like a skull, or maybe a fire pit? She hummed to herself. Never in her life had she felt so at peace. Merrill liked her. Merrill had _kissed_ her...

Still at her side, Tamlen interrupted her thoughts. "Do you think the Keeper will approve?"

Lyna's mood fell. She hadn't really thought about that. Brow furrowed, she turned to look at him. "You think the Keeper _won't_ approve?"

Tamlen's eyes remained transfixed on the sky. "Well, it's just..." he sighed. "What about, you know... _children_?"

Indeed... that was a problem. Life in the forests was a dangerous one, especially for the hunters. All the Dalish were encouraged to have children. Not that the clan would ever demand such a thing from its members. Still, in a decade or more if she never had children there might be disappointed looks. Whenever Keeper Marathari gave Lyna one of those looks she always felt like she had just kicked a baby halla in front of Maren.

Fortunately, both she and Merrill were still very young. If the First did indeed honor her by becoming her life-mate, then they could have that awkward conversation, but it was something that needn't come up for a long, long time.

Lyna definitely wasn't in a hurry to do _that_ any time soon anyway. This was only her twenty-first summer after all. She had her whole life ahead of her, and she planned to spend as much of that with Merrill as she possibly could.

"There are ways around that particular problem," she finally explained. " _Magical ways_..." she added with a wink. She had read that in a book somewhere.

"Oh... " Tamlen said. Then he blushed rather impressively. " _Oh!_ " Hopelessly flustered, he sat back up and looked away.

"Wait. _Wait!"_ Lyna reached out and shook his arm. "Don't you dare picture that in your head!"

The still blushing hunter held up his hands. "I'm not thinking about it. Honest!"

Lyna glared back at him as Tamlen shuddered and shook his head again like he was trying to shake the mental image out of it.

Sighing, Lyna got to her feet and picked her own discarded bow off the ground.

"I thought you were supposed to be with Master Ilen today," Tamlen asked as he did the same. "How did you get away?"

"Oh, I got out of it," came the cryptic reply as Lyna found her knives and slipped them into the sheaths suspended from her belt, "You know I prefer to hunt."

"Were you hunting deer or a certain green-eyed elf?"

Lyna snorted, but smiled conspiratorially. She hadn't really been hunting Merrill at the time, but sometimes a smart hunter would wait until their prey came to _them_. "None of your business, but my hunt went _very_ successfully if you must know."

Tamlen grunted.

Both elves went immediately on alert when they heard branches breaking in the distance. Tamlen dashed for his quiver, and Lyna already had her bow strung and an arrow ready as a human blundered into the open clearing. The dirty, red-headed man only barely kept himself from falling flat on his face when he found himself confronted by two angry and very well-armed elves. Lyna couldn't believe her luck. 'Shems,' she grumbled out loud. And today had started off so well too...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN - Things get angstyer from here, as you might imagine.
> 
> I'm planning four chapters in total, though I'm not sure when you can expect the next update. I have another story that's currently my priority, plus my writing speed can be most charitably described as "glacial" :(


	2. Chapter 2

"Shattered Dreams" by Imrryr

Chapter 2 of 5

...

When the first shem burst into the clearing, he nearly tripped over his own feet at the sight of two armed Dalish hunters both with arrows pointed at his head. A second later, two more shems came blundering through the bushes and knocked him right to the ground. It was all Lyna could do to keep from sighing out loud.

"Stay right where you are," Tamlen ordered.

Heedlessly, the two newcomers pulled their fallen comrade to his feet. In frustration, Lyna let an arrow fly, the bolt passing inches from the first man's nose. He stumbled backwards into the arms of his friends.

"Stay right where you _are_ ," the elf repeated.

This time the still panting and gasping humans did as ordered, drawing away from each other and holding up their hands in apparent surrender. Lyna watched all three carefully. The instant one reached for a hidden knife, or darted for the forest, she'd kill him. Two Dalish hunters were more than capable of killing a few humans before any of them so much as reached the edges of this clearing.

As far as Lyna could tell, all three of these shems were middle-aged. She couldn't see any signs that they were armed - they clearly weren't warriors - and they weren't wearing any armor either. Their pale woolen tunics were covered in dirt and all three were sweating profusely and breathing hard, as though something had been chasing them. One was nervously picking twigs out of his hair even as his life was held on a knife's edge. All in all it was a sad sight.

Plus, the fat one was practically leering at her.

Shems... she could swear they got less and less intelligent each time she encountered them. How they ever managed to take the Dales was a complete mystery to her; strength of numbers counted for a lot, she supposed.

The tallest man finally spoke up, "Please don't hurt us!" he cried. He did seem to be the most intelligent of the three, not that that was saying much.

"What do you say, lethallan? What should we do with them?"

Lyna's eyes darted to Tamlen and then back to the three men. "Let's find out what they're doing here."

"Does it matter?" he asked under his breath. "Hunting or banditry, we'll need to move camp if we let them live."

Lyna's brow furrowed. "And if we don't let them live and someone comes looking for them?"

Tamlen frowned as he considered this. Meanwhile, the men's faces were growing paler by the moment.

The tall man spoke again, apparently he was the brains of the operation, "L - look... we didn't come here to be no trouble. We just found a cave is all. Ancient; with ruins like I've never seen!"

Tamlen raised an eyebrow. When no elaboration was forthcoming he let out an exasperated, " _And_?"

All three men stiffened considerably. The portly one in the back actually covered his face with his hands. "I - I have proof!" the apparent leader said, "Here... we found this just inside the entrance." He passed to Tamlen what appeared to be a mere fragment of stone, but out of the corner of her eye, Lyna could just make out faint markings on it. Tamlen had to lower his bow to take it which made her even more wary, though there was little these three sorry shems could do against a skilled Dalish hunter.

"There are carvings on this stone," her friend whispered, fascination apparent in his voice. "Is - Is this Elvish? Written Elvish?" He held up the fragment to Lyna, but she could only shake her head. She had no idea. Merrill or the Keeper would certainly know for sure. "And this is all you found?" Tamlen asked of the man, "Why didn't you look for more?"

The leader's eyes widened comically. "N- no! There was a demon! It was huge, with black eyes! Thank the Maker we were able to out-run it!"

Tamlen scoffed. "A _demon_? Where is this cave?"

"Just off to the west, I think," the shem said, pointing from the direction they had come from as his companions nodded frantically. "There's a cave in the rock face, and a huge hole just inside."

"Well?" Tamlen began, glancing at Lyna, "Do you trust them? Shall we let them go?"

Unconsciously, she gulped, unaccustomed to making such decisions. It was in her nature not to kill anything unless she absolutely had to. She found it a struggle to sound confident and keep her voice even, "You've frightened them enough. They won't bother us."

Her friend nodded. "Run along then, shems... and don't come back until we Dalish have moved on."

The three nodded in alarm and nearly knocked each over in their mad dash for the woods.

When they were out of sight, Lyna sighed. Letting them live had probably been a mistake... In all her previous encounters with shems she had been with one of the senior hunters and therefore left out of the loop entirely. And none of those meetings had ever taken place so near to camp. Would the Keeper have let them go?

"Well," Tamlen began, "shall we see if there's any truth to their story? These carvings make me curious."

Lyna scrunched up her brow in thought as Tamlen stowed the piece of stone into the pack he carried at his side. "Shouldn't we inform the Keeper?"

"Your future mother-in-law, you mean?" When he caught the flash of Lyna's eyes, Tamlen swiftly jumped backwards, avoiding another punch to the shoulder. He grinned at her and she replied by sticking out her tongue. "She might be interested in these carvings, but let's see if there's anything more before we get excited. Besides, we're already here..."

Grunting in irritation, Lyna reluctantly nodded. The camp _was_ a few miles away, after all.

"Good. Now, they said it was to the west..."

...

It had all the markings of a recent cave-in: flanking the hole in the ground were jagged pieces of stone that might've once belonged to the roof of whatever structure was down there, buried under the mossy soil. Dirt formed a ramp that disappeared downward into the gloom, but something unknown was illuminating the structure down there.

"This must be the cave," Tamlen began, noting the human tracks all over the area, "I don't recall seeing this before, do you?"

Lyna shook her head. "No, and that worries me. We should be wary."

Tamlen scoffed. "Always the careful one," he sighed as he drew out his bow again. "Fine, but I'm not running back until I know there's something worth making a fuss over. Come on," he added, looking down into the cobweb strewn opening, "let's at least see what's here. How dangerous could it be?"

Lyna bit her tongue. She really hated when Tamlen said things like that.

Stomach tightening, she took one last look at the verdant forest behind her before steeling herself and descending into the cave.

...

_'Ugh...'_ Lyna had seen many disgusting and horrible things as a hunter, but she really would've preferred to have gone her entire life without encountering a giant spider, let alone three of them.

She cursed to herself as she did her best to clean the green blood off of one of the two knives she used for close quarters combat. Sadly, the skin of the dead spider was all she had at hand to do the job.

"I can't believe some of our ancestors might've lived here, in _caves_ like the dwarves," Tamlen said quietly. Both of them kept their voices low in this place. "I'll stick to roaming the land, myself."

"Agreed, but this doesn't feel like anyone's home..."

"I don't know about that, Lyna. I have this odd sensation that we've... disturbed something. Like we just walked into a dragon's lair."

"Oh, good," she muttered under her breath as she sheathed her knives, "Because this place wasn't creepy enough already..."

After walking up and down several empty hallways lined with little more than crumbling stone walls and the roots of trees, Lyna was beginning to feel like this excursion had been a waste of their time. Thankfully, each hall was lit by what must have been magical flames held in ancient braziers. There were tracks in the dust at their feet... from the humans, Lyna supposed, but nothing in this place had any value; no books, no weapons, no artifacts... _nothing_.

Still, they pressed on. They traveled down hallways that ended in caveins and several times had to retrace their own steps. They passed through large rooms filled with yet more spiders, and other rooms filled with decayed shelves and books that were unfortunately completely ruined with age. It might well have been nightfall before they rounded a nondescript corner and made their first real discovery: a statue. An _elven_ statue.

It was a woman; tall, with long, thin arms and an unusually small head. It looked nothing like anything Lyna or even Master Ilen had ever carved, but Lyna had seen these before. This was most certainly elven.

On the floor nearby lay the decaying flesh and tarnished armor of what looked like long-dead humans; or at least they seemed too large to be elves.

"This is strange," Tamlen said, "This looks like human architecture... with a statue of our people. And these are _human_ bones..."

"Do you think these ruins date back to the time of Arlathan?"

Tamlen opened his mouth to answer when they both heard the sound of scraping behind them. Spinning on their heels, the hunters watched in disbelief as two of the dead men rose up, hefted their long forgotten weapons, and lumbered towards them. Tamlen fired an arrow, but it did nothing to stop his target. Quickly, Lyna tossed him a knife and they were both forced to fight the creatures head on.

It took seemingly forever to finally kill them. Not only were the creatures armored, but each blow to what was left of their skin did nothing to slow them down. Finally, Lyna sliced open her combatant's neck and Tamlen followed suit.

"Walking corpses?" he gasped as pushed the now truly dead corpse away from himself. "This place is haunted!"

"Yeah. Maybe we should lea-" Lyna never finished her thought. The door behind her burst open and they were confronted by a huge, angry and diseased looking bear.

Each elf leapt away just in time to avoid the charging animal; Lyna to the right, Tamlen to the left. The bear chose Tamlen to chase after, and in the confusion Lyna quickly pulled out her knife and attacked the creature's back. She made a vow to apologize to the giant spiders later; this bear-monster was by far the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen: much of its hair was gone, its skin was covered in black splotches, and when she grabbed its neck to hang on to, the animal skin beneath her fingers bruised and turned purple immediately. Quickly, she buried the knife into the back of its neck. A horrible bass roar shook the walls and the bear bucked in rage, sending Lyna tumbling to the ground. In horror, she watched the creature rear up on its hind legs, but before she could roll out of the way, it was felled by several rapid shots from Tamlen's bow. Diving for her knife, Lyna finished the thing off with another slash to its neck just after it hit the ground.

In exhaustion, Lyna dropped the knife and staggered back against the wall, gasping for breath. Tamlen stood over the bear, bow still in his hand, his eyes wide, his hands shaking. "By the creators! What was that thing?"

It took a while for Lyna to calm herself enough to answer, "I - uh... um... some kind of demon bear?"

"Ha," he snorted, laying his weapon aside as he too caught his breath. "I could've told you th-" Tamlen's words were arrested when he caught sight of what the bear must have been guarding; behind the now broken door was an enormous mirror flanked by two marble statues, each one a shem holding a sword. Or, she realized, it was a _like_ a mirror, only it didn't reflect anything. Steps led up to it, as though it's bluish white surface was meant to be _passed_ through...

Something about it just wasn't right...

She gasped. Her friend was already approaching it. "Tamlen!"

He turned and smiled at her. "Oh, come on. It sat here for who knows how many centuries - what could be so dangerous? Don't worry; I won't break it."

That thing breaking was the last thing Lyna was worried about; it just felt _evil_. And the fact that it been guarded by an undead bear didn't exactly alleviate her unease.

The mirror had a strange kind of beauty to it however. What would Merrill make of it? She bet the young elf would find it fascinating; Merrill could probably spend a year here and not uncover all the secrets hidden in this place. The thought only slightly brightened her mood. There was this strange humming sound that she couldn't place. And a warm, foul breeze was coming from the mirror now that the doors to its chamber were opened.

There were more strange markings on the base of the two statues that flanked the mirror, just like on the artifact Tamlen had. More elvish, she assumed. She really wished she knew how to read it; there were so many questions to answer: like why would ancient elven writing be associated with this mirror and these clearly human-built statues?

"Look how clean it is. Not a single smudge or crack," her friend said in awe as he rubbed his hand against the stone surface of the base. "I wonder what this writing is for? Maybe this isn't -" he tensed and his eyes darted to the mirror, "Hey, did you see that? I think something moved inside the mirror..."

"Inside the mirror?" Okay, it was _really_ time to go. "Tamlen -"

"Don't you see it? There it is again!"

Lyna couldn't see anything. Then a pink ring suddenly appeared in the mirror, expanding slowly and fading to nothingness like ripples of water from a rock dropped into a pond. It was accompanied by a barely audible shrieking sound that sounded as though it had traveled a great distance; a great distance from inside the mirror itself. Lyna shivered.

"Can you feel that? I think it knows we're here. I just need to take a closer look..."

_'_ _ **It**_ _knows?'_ "Tamlen, wait!"

He held out his hand in dismissal. "Just let me look."

When he reached the top step he brought his hand to the mirror and slowly glided it over its light blue surface. Though Lyna could see little except for that strange rippling effect, Tamlen spoke as though he could see much, much more, "It's showing me places. I can see... some kind of city... underground?"

Despite herself, Lyna squinted, but still there was - wait! For an instant, she thought she saw black silhouettes, like tall stone towers against a blood red sky behind. Where in Thedas could that be?

"And... there's a great blackness..."

As he spoke, there came a horrible noise from the mirror, like metal grinding against metal, growing louder and louder as she looked on in horror.

Tamlen froze, his skin turning white. Lyna had never seen such a look on his face before. "It... it saw me! Help! I can't look away!"

"Tamlen!"

She reached for his hand as he cried out her name, but just before they touched, a white flash of light sent her flying backwards into a stone wall.

* * *

Late afternoon in the Dalish camp. Two days later...

...

"You've returned to us, da'len."

Lyna blinked as she struggled to push herself up by the elbows. Around her, the world slowly returned to focus. Birds were chirping and leaves were rustling in the wind but she could barely remember her own name or how she got here. _'Returned? I went somewhere?'_

The Keeper placed a hand on her back to steady her. "I know not what dark power held you, but it nearly bled the life from you. It was difficult even for my magic to keep you alive."

Only now did the memories come flooding back; Tamlen, the shems, a cave... spiders... the rest was a fuzzy blur. "Wait! Where's Tamlen?"

"The hunters have found tracks that might belong to him; they are searching for him as we speak."

Lyna pushed herself up further, only for the Keeper to shake her head. "You must rest, da'len."

"But, Tamlen! I – I can't remember what happened. We entered a cave together... there were statues and corpses that walked..."

"I know only that Merrill found you in front of a strange hole in the ground, sick and alone. She saw nothing like you described."

Her heart began to race. "Am I okay?"

"Your fever broke, and the signs of whatever illness snared you are gone... but truthfully, I don't know if you are free from it or not."

Lyna shivered and frowned. She didn't feel quite like herself, though she couldn't explain why.

"You are too valuable to lose, da'len. I want you to stay here, at least for tonight."

Lyna ducked her head in shame, hugging her knees as she remained on the bedroll. "I understand, Keeper. Ma serannas. You saved my life."

Marethari's expression softened ever so slightly. "Do not thank me, thank Merrill. Had she not ignored her studies to go looking for you, you would likely not be alive."

"Merrill -"

The elderly Keeper appeared to almost be smiling at her. She clasped her hands behind her back. "I was young once myself, as hard as that might be to imagine." A raised hand silenced Lyna as she opened her mouth. "You need not explain anything to me."

If Lyna didn't know better, she would've sworn Marethari had just winked at her. No. It must be her imagination.

"Perhaps your destiny is entwined with hers," the Keeper continued. "She is very devoted to you. Had she not been, you would not be here."

"I - " _'Wow,'_ Lyna thought.

"Now go and rest, Merrill will be informed of your recovery the moment she returns."

"Ma nuvenin, Keeper."

...

Lyna Mahariel rubbed the smooth surface of the wooden carving of Andruil with her fingers. It was something she did whenever she got nervous; she liked the texture of wood, the grain comforted her somehow. She'd never admit it, but she kept the little carving with her more as a comfort than as some kind of tribute to the goddess of the hunt.

Perhaps Andruil had protected her today, but right now the carving wasn't helping her. Tamlen was gone.

She shook her head; he was _gone_ , not dead. There was still a chance...

Outside, the wind picked up, and the welcome sound of rustling leaves broke her train of thought.

She loved nature. It was a complete mystery to her why any elf would even dream of stepping inside a human city. The idea of so many people living cramped together between walls of stone and wood, surrounded in each other's filth... who would want to live like that? Why would anyone want to remove themselves so completely from their natural environment just to live as second-class citizens? It was unfathomable to her.

This unexpected contact with the artificial world of the shems was still troubling her. After her claustrophobic experience in that underground temple, she'd love nothing more than to stay above ground in the forest with her clan, with _Merrill_ , forever and never step foot in another human structure again; ancient or otherwise.

But now there was something gnawing at her, an anxious feeling that she wasn't use to experiencing and couldn't quite place. Perhaps it was something in the air?

It was as though someone had put a damper over the entire forest; the birds sang less loudly, she was sitting in the sun, but its rays did nothing to warm her skin. They felt cold, just like everything else here. There was an inescapable feeling as though she had lost something. She felt alone. Surrounded by friends and family since the day she was born, she had never felt like this in her entire life.

Perhaps, Lyna considered, she was still feeling the side-effects of whatever had happened to her. Her brow furrowed. She still couldn't remember exactly what that was.

"Lyna!" Before she could react, someone burst through her open tent and practically fell on top of her. In an instant she was wrapped up in a very strong hug. She knew instinctively who it was.

' _Merrill...'_ Lyna's dark mood flittered away at the warm embrace.

"I thought I had lost you," Merrill said into her shoulder. She sounded almost as if she were crying.

Opening a mouth to speak, Lyna only let out a gasp. She couldn't think of a single thing to say, but her heart was soaring. Happily, she buried her nose in the woman's hair. Merrill smelled wonderful, like the forest in spring, and already Lyna's mind began to clear, the darkness lifted even as the sun began to set over the camp.

_'Just like the forest...'_

"Merrill... emma lath." She could feel the woman begin to smile against her shoulder at the words.

"The Keeper wants us to return to the cave tomorrow and look for Tamlen."

Lyna gulped, but nodded, unconsciously embracing the slender elf even more tightly. Merrill was dressed in her chainmail, she must've been out looking for him. The memory hit her hard. _'Tamlen...'_ She couldn't let the other woman see how just how much the idea of returning to that cave terrified her. Dalish hunters were supposed to know no fear.

"You should sleep."

_'No,'_ she thought. She was happy exactly as she was, with Merrill on her lap. "I'm not tired," Lyna mumbled even as she suppressed a yawn. "Besides, I've been sleeping for two days."

Shaking her head, Merrill gently pressed a hand onto Lyna's sternum and pushed her back until she was lying on her bedroll. It was a force the huntress could've easily overpowered, but it was _Merrill_ doing it. She would do anything Merrill asked of her.

"Sleep," the First ordered.

Pouting, Lyna lay on her side as Merrill pulled the blankets over her body. She closed her eyes but opened them again when she realized Merrill was still there.

The elf was sitting beside her bedroll now. When Lyna peered up at her, Merrill began gently brushing the woman's soft black hair. At her questioning look, Merrill only smiled and she waited patiently until the huntress was snoring softly before she finally left the tent.

* * *

Reading ancient Elvish lore was something Merrill quite enjoyed. She yearned to know as much about her people's ancient ways as was possible to learn. Yet tonight, her mind simply wouldn't concentrate. She had been so worried about Lyna. Thank the creators she was all right. Ever since they had first kissed she couldn't get the huntress' bright blue eyes out of her head. Lyna seemed to truly embrace life, and Merrill was beginning to learn that every moment spent with Maherial was an adventure.

But despite her relief at Lyna's return to health, Tamlen was still gone. The other hunters seemed more optimistic, but Merrill had seen what her lover had looked like as she crawled out of that cave. Without the Keeper's magic... no, Tamlen must be dead by now, she thought.

She felt bad for it, but it wasn't the well-liked hunter who was occupying her thoughts, it was Lyna.

After all, the huntress was the reason Merrill had followed her and Tamlen to the cave in the first place. When she hadn't returned to the camp as planned, Merrill had quickly begun to worry.

Thankfully, Lyna's boots had a distinctive print to them, and Merrill hadn't completely forgotten how to track her prey like the hunters had tried so hard to teach her to do.

She had found Lyna crawling out of a hole in the ground, her unusually pale skin covered in sweat. It looked as though her life force was draining from her before Merrill's very eyes. Luckily, she knew enough magic to at least temporarily halt whatever was happening to Lyna. Then, with all the meager strength at her command, she half carried, half dragged, the woman back towards the camp.

Alas, she wasn't strong like Lyna, she barely had the strength to do it, and every so often she had to stop and catch her breath before continuing on. Sometimes she screamed for help, but it wasn't until they were halfway back to camp that someone from the clan answered her cries.

From then on she alternated between staying at Lyna's side and helping in the search for Tamlen. When out in the woods with Fenarel and Junar, she would worry about Lyna. When at the elf's side, she worried about Tamlen, and even more about how Lyna would react if he were never found.

Thank the creators her fever finally broke. The sickly dark blotches on her skin disappeared and warmth returned to it. Still, the Keeper wasn't sure if the illness was truly gone or not. That was not a good sign at all. There was little the Keeper didn't know about such things.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar silhouette at her tent flap.

"Lyna?"

The huntress brushed aside the flap, but only smiled and stretched out her hand in response. Merrill eyed it curiously. "Do you trust me?" Lyna asked, blue eyes sparkling in the light of Merrill's tiny fire.

The First smiled, placed her book gently on her bedroll and took the proffered hand.

...

"Where are we?" She couldn't believe Lyna had demanded she keep her eyes shut the entire time. They hadn't gone too far from camp at least, but she hadn't heard anything beside the normal sounds of nature: the hooting of owls and the singing of cicadas. She wondered how Lyna had gotten them both past the camp guards.

"Almost there..."

They had been climbing for the past few minutes up a gentle slope, Lyna providing directions to avoid any roots or rocks.

Thankfully, they eventually had to stop. "Emma lath, here comes the tricky part. You'll need to get on my back."

After some questioning, during which it became clear that Lyna wasn't about to accept no for an answer, Merrill complied. She knew she was light, but it was still a surprise just how easily the woman carried her, even after all that had happened in the last two days.

As they ascended, they passed over rushing water, fallen leaves and up a steep hill. Finally, the climbing came to an end, and Lyna let her down gently. She could hear the woman's hard breathing close in front of her. "You can open your eyes now."

When Merrill did, she was met by those bright blue eyes reflecting the light of the moon. Without a thought she leaned forward and kissed her.

Lyna was smiling beautifully when Merrill finally pulled back. "Well," she whispered, " _surprise_."

Merrill finally took in the view around her. They were on top of rocky hill, just above the canopy. It took her a moment to realize that this was the hill next to their camp; she had never climbed it before. During the day, hunters would come up here and watch the horizon. The spot was useless for tracking the movements of animals or humans, but it was very useful for watching the weather. Tonight the moon was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was so rare to be able to see so far in the forest. It was beautiful.

They stood with their shoulders touching. Lyna's voice was surprisingly meek. It sounded a bit like Merrill's own when she was in Lyna's presence, or the Keeper's, or most of her clan mates' to be honest. "Will you stay here with me tonight?" the huntress asked. "Junar and Pol are sharing the watch... I sort of asked them to keep an extra eye on the path up here tonight."

Merrill smiled even as a blush grew on her face. Lyna, one of the most skilled hunters in the clan, was staring at her toes and scratching the back of her head nervously. If she could have, Merrill would've kept the memory of this moment in a box so she could relive it whenever she wanted.

"You saved my life, lethallan..." Lyna added into the silence.

Quickly, the situation reversed itself and Merrill had to look away. The look in Lyna's eyes was just too much for her.

"You dragged me back to camp," her friend continued, "I - " She looked to the north where the waning moon was hanging low in the sky, illuminating the forest canopy. "I could live for a hundred years and never repay you, Merrill."

Merrill took Lyna's hand in her own. "There's no need to repay m-"

A finger to her lips stopped her words; again Lyna gently forced Merrill to look her in the eye. The feeling of those strong calloused hands on her soft skin made the shy elf feel tingles in places she'd never felt tingles in before. " _Let me_ ," Lyna whispered into her ear. "Let me try..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long delay :/ Lately I struggled a bit while writing this, probably because I agonize way too much over the quality of my writing. Also, I no longer have any free time at work to write my stories... not that I would ever dream of doing something like that because I'm like totally responsible and professional and... um... hey, look over there, it's a huge distracting thing! *runs away*

"Shattered Dreams" by Imrryr

Chapter 3 of 5

...

Merrill wasn't sure if she would ever be able to move again. Though to be honest, if she had to choose a spot to live out the rest of her life, lying here, hands threaded through her hunter's soft hair with the stars shining brightly overhead, well, that would do nicely, she thought.

Seeing Lyna Mahariel writhing above her, naked, perspiring and gasping out her name into the night was something she would never forget, and wouldn't mind seeing again and again for the rest of her life.

And she made the most unexpectedly wonderful noises.

Bonelessly, Merrill stared up at the night sky and the stars hanging overhead as the memories replayed themselves. Inwardly, she felt more than a little proud. Last night, when she finally understood what they were about to do, she had been certain she would make a fool of herself somehow, but she hadn't. The way Lyna was now resting on top of her, her breathing still heavy, her disheveled hair sticking to her forehead, well, Merrill must've not been so bad after all.

Lyna's ragged breath was hot against her sensitive neck, "Ma vhenan..." she gasped, "H - How did you learn to do _that_?"

Merrill gulped. More images from the not particularly distant past - images of her pleasuring herself this time - came immediately to mind. _That_ was how she learned what little she knew about sex. It seemed odd that she found the truth so embarrassing after what Lyna and her had just shared, but still, it was.

Her lover seemed to pick up on this, because she gently ran a hand up Merrill's arm until their hands met and gave it a squeeze. "Never mind," she said, and Merrill could hear the smile in her voice.

A soft kiss on her neck was followed by a nibble that made the mage want to squirm. Lyna seemed to really enjoy lavishing her attention there. Admittedly, Merrill had fantasized about what it would be like to make love to Lyna Mahariel, but clearly she had underestimated how much the little things would affect her; the sensation of Lyna's rough breathing in her ear, her teeth scraping at her neck, the feeling of the huntress' strong thigh pressed up against her... The memories alone were enough to make her feel light-headed. She wondered if she had just uncovered what Fenarel and Ineria were really doing when they disappeared together into the forest so often.

It was going to be so hard to return to her usual duties as Marethari's apprentice when the opportunity to do _this_ was always hanging in the air.

The huntress was now resting her head on her shoulder, having shifted her weight off of Merrill's body. "You're blushing," she said.

Lyna must've had a predator's sight, Merrill thought. "That was..." What word could possibly do justice to what she had just experienced?

"I know," Lyna said, only half-succeeding in suppressing a tired yawn. "I felt it too."

_'Felt it? Uh-oh, that's not good,'_ Merrill thought. She had tried to control her magic but it was so very hard to do that when you had Lyna Mahariel's blue eyes staring into your own like you were the only thing that mattered in all of the world. "Y - You didn't feel the ground shake, did you?" How embarrassing would it be if she had woken the entire camp with an earthquake? _'Oh, Creators!'_ she thought, _'Why did I have to go and start studying primal magic?'_

The chuckle that followed surprised her. "Maybe a little," Lyna said.

"I hope it didn't wake the camp. Do you think they would've felt it, being so far away? I was trying to keep my magic under control, I swear!"

By now, Lyna had propped herself up on her elbow and was looking down at the babbling elf with a mix of confusion and amusement. "Merrill, what _are_ you talking about?"

She was beginning to panic. "S - Sometimes it's hard to control my magic... like when I'm aroused and I'm - " she couldn't finish what she was saying. She felt certain she would die if she said it out loud.

Lyna was giggling and quickly leaned forward for a kiss. The instant those soft lips met hers, Merrill forgot everything else.

When they finally parted, the elf rested her forehead on Merrill's. "I wasn't speaking literally."

"Oh..." Now she felt very foolish indeed.

Lyna gently ran her fingers along Merrill's side to tickle her ever so slightly, "You are by far the most adorable elf I've ever met."

Merrill smiled shyly. She was the lucky one as far as she was concerned; Lyna could be brave, and smart, and adorable all at the same time. She was _perfect_.

"Is it really so hard to control your magic?" Lyna asked when after a few more kisses they had returned to lying blissfully beside each other, a blanket now covering their mutual nakedness.

"It can be..." she said with a little sigh. "It was much worse when I was younger. My first memory is of accidentally shocking my mother with a lightning bolt when she woke me from a nightmare."

Her lover's voice became softer, "You remember your mother?"

Merrill shook her head, "Only vaguely." Her mother and father were still alive and probably still in Nevarra for all she knew. Sometimes she resented them for giving her away to the Sabrae when she was so young. The only way she could see her parents now was in her dreams.

When she looked into her lover's eyes Merrill felt bad for even mentioning it. Everyone in the camp knew the story of what had happened to Mahariel's parents. "Lyna?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned that."

Lyna blinked. "Mentioned what?"

"My mother. I didn't mean to remind you of your parents."

"Don't apologize," the huntress said, giving Merrill's naked body a squeeze under the blanket they shared.

"Do you ever have dreams about your family?" she asked tentatively as her friend made herself more comfortable. Lyna's father had died before she'd been born, and her mother followed soon after giving birth... everyone knew this, of course, but still, Merrill had never broached the subject with her before. It seemed somehow wrong to mention it. Lyna was her best friend; she never wanted to upset her in any way, but she couldn't explain why she had picked that moment to finally ask. Her curiosity always seemed to get her into trouble.

Surprisingly, the elf didn't stiffen or do anything to suggest that the question was unwelcome. "Yeah," she whispered, her hot breath tickling the mage's collar as she snuggled closer. "Sometimes."

"Really?" That didn't seem possible. Merrill could barely remember her own family and she had been four-years-old when she had seen them last. Even in her dreams, their faces were veiled as if being seen through a soupy, morning fog, a fog that grew thicker as the years stretched on.

"I don't mean my parents," Lyna clarified as her lithe fingers rubbed gentle circles on Merrill's arm. "I dream about the forest."

Whatever she had been expecting to hear, it wasn't that. "The forest?" she repeated.

Her friend nodded. "It feeds us, clothes us, and shelters us... it teaches us lessons, and guides us through our life's journeys -"

"Oh," Merrill said, not quite understanding, "But how can it teach us anything? The forest doesn't talk back."

"Sure it does," she said with a smile, "you just have to learn how to listen."

The mage's brow furrowed. Lyna was sounding more and more like a hunter every day, and perhaps she was right, but still -

"We are forgotten by our own gods, left adrift in a world that hates us." A sigh followed, "The humans despise us for staying true to who we are and their templars hunt any of us blessed enough to have the old gifts." Merrill didn't miss how Lyna's encircling arm hugged more tightly for an instant as she said the words. "Sometimes, I think that the forest is the only thing that hasn't abandoned us, the only thing that still cares for us."

Merrill found that she couldn't dispute that. The shems treated the clans no differently than they treated wild wolves or bears; they were creatures to be exterminated so the wilds could be tamed and cleared for the plow. Clans were robbed of their Keepers and Firsts because of the magic the held, leaving the Dalish who survived rudderless and without any connection to their noble past. Such clans eventually became lawless and took to waylaying travelers which, of course, only made the humans hate them even more. Her brow furrowed at those unwelcome thoughts. "So, the forest is your family?" she said.

"Mmmhmm," the elf murmured, stifling a yawn. "And our clan, of course. I dream about them too, sometimes." Then she pushed back a little so she could better look Merrill in the eye. "Those aren't the dreams I like best though."

Merrill started blushing without even knowing why. Lyna looked so unguarded and vulnerable at that moment. "They're not?"

"No," she said, her little half-smile leaving Merrill breathless, "Sometimes, when I'm lucky, I dream about you."

...

The next morning...

...

Again, Merrill found herself running her fingers through Lyna's hair. Above them, the stars had given way to gathering clouds which were changing color with the rising sun. It wasn't her habit to wake so early, but now that she had, she wanted to savor this sensation of having a naked Lyna Mahariel clutched to her side for as long as she could.

Before last night, she hadn't quite grasped the extent and power of the love Lyna had for her.

Now she knew.

Waking as she did with Lyna's soft, firm and very warm body pressed tightly against her own, her mind awash with memories of last night's love making... well, Merrill felt she finally understood what her friend had been getting at last night when she spoke of the forest. And if Lyna's feelings of love and contentment when she had the forest surrounding her were anything like how Merrill felt now with Lyna at her side, well, it would certainly explain why her lover was always in such a good mood.

Merrill had been a little bit too preoccupied to notice it last night, but as she allowed herself to bask in the sensations she was feeling, the elf realized she was sleeping on Lyna's bedroll. The huntress must've thought everything out ahead of time...

Of course, there was no chance Lyna would've been rejected. Merrill always found herself agreeing to anything the huntress asked of her. It was why they got in trouble so often as children.

The First stretched out her arms. She felt blissfully warm, and just a little bit sore, but it was definitely a good kind of sore. Lyna had introduced her to a lot of new sensations last night and they had all felt wonderful, but she had to think that she liked this particular sensation most of all: waking up with someone she loved by her side.

They were both still naked, and the blanket that had been wrapped around them now slipped to where it barely covered her waist. Lying curled up beside her was Lyna, her head resting just below Merrill's breasts, her left arm wrapped securely around Merrill's waist. All the First could see was Lyna's dark, disheveled hair and the tips of her ears poking through it, but gentle, warm breaths against her bare stomach told her the girl was still sleeping.

That was another new sensation: lying outside, naked and exposed and feeling far too content to do anything about it.

She dropped her head back to the pillow and smiled as she watched the clouds roll by in the early morning sky. The sun was just rising and everything was bathed in a brilliant yellow-orange light. A sigh of contentment escaped her lips. Last night had been... indescribable. And that was probably a good thing, come to think of it. She couldn't imagine telling anyone else what she had been doing... not that anyone else would ask. Would they ask? She really hoped not. That would be _so_ embarrassing.

And after their second round of lovemaking was over, Lyna sleepily rested her head on Merrill's stomach while the First told her stories about the constellations as they traveled slowly overhead. That had been wonderful too, and she was relieved to know that her relationship with the elf wouldn't change too drastically. They'd still be able to share those little meaningful moments together just as they had when they were kids.

Before too long, the huntress fell asleep right where she lay and Merrill joined her soon afterwards. It had been a day - and a night - she would never forget. She'd never felt so happy, or so secure, in her entire life.

A squeeze from the arm wrapped around her waist was followed by a soft yawn. Mahariel was stirring.

"Lyna?"

Lazily, the woman rolled over until they were facing each other. Merrill blushed at the sight of Lyna still resting her head on her chest, those heavy-lidded eyes meeting her own for a moment before focusing on Merrill's exposed breasts. Merrill's flush grew stronger. Yes, they had been naked together last night... but this was the first time the other girl had seen her fully exposed in the light of day since they were little.

Lyna grinned at Merrill's reaction and slowly pushed herself up to lovingly kiss each breast, allowing the blanket to slip off of her, before sensually gliding her naked body along Merrill's until she rested perfectly on top of her. ' _Creators_...' how could such simple movements feel so good, Merrill wondered.

"Good morning," Lyna said drowsily, a soft smile still on her lips.

Merrill only gaped - she had never been very good at words anyway - not that Lyna ever seemed to mind. All she could think about was how their bodies fit so well together and how well-toned Lyna's muscles were. It was like there was a fire every place they touched.

The huntress hovered over her, her soft lips inches from Merrill's own. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

Merrill sensed a touch of concern but also bashfulness in her tone and expression. It made her smile. _'Will it always be like this?'_ she asked herself. Would Lyna always be so inexplicably shy, even _reverent_ , around her? Part of her hoped so. She liked the idea that there was a part of Lyna Mahariel reserved exclusively for her.

Without thinking, she wrapped her hands around the woman's upper back, pulled her down and kissed her.

When they again separated, Lyna's face lit up with the most beautiful smile Merrill had ever seen. She breathed in deeply and then giggled when the wind picked up and Merrill shivered involuntarily. "Wait here," she said with a wink, "I'll try to find your clothes."

_'Oh, right,'_ she thought. She had no idea where Lyna might have tossed them.

While her lover went about her search, Merrill rose to her feet and quickly wrapped the blanket tightly around her slender form. Lyna, on the other hand, went about completely unashamed of her nakedness. She certainly had no reason to be, Merrill mused as she unconsciously watched the movements of that wonderfully toned body. There was so much power hidden there, and she found her throat going dry just picturing what all that strength could do. No wonder Mahariel was sought after by so many.

All she could really see now was the woman's back, but it was enough to remind her of everything they had shared last night. _'And she has a lovely bottom too,'_ she noticed as the elf pulled on her tight-fitting trousers. If she wanted to - and she did - there was no reason why she couldn't just reach out and -

Then the woman turned around, catching Merrill staring brazenly at her. Quickly, the First pretended to be fascinated by the leaves at her feet.

There was mischief in Lyna's voice, "It's okay, Merrill. You don't have to look away."

The elf tried not to, but she couldn't help it. Lyna was just so effortlessly beautiful. She had barely been able to even glance at the girl once they had removed each others' clothes last night, but now in the light of day? No, if she looked now she might faint, or find some other even worse way to embarrass herself.

Before she knew it, Lyna was in front of her, their bodies mere inches from touching, her upper body still very much naked. Again, Merrill felt that slender hand under her chin, directing her to look the huntress in the eye. "You can look as much as you like," she said reassuringly, her hand drifting around the curve of Merrill's neck and then through her short, braided hair. Those skilled fingers gently rubbed the back of her head, soothing her into a kind of submission. Half dazed, Merrill nodded, forgetting what they were even talking about. Then her eyes drifted down to Lyna's still exposed breasts, and before long her face went red as a tomato again.

Her lover chuckled. She took Merrill's hand in hers and placed it over her breast. "Everything of mine is yours. You don't have to be afraid to look... or touch," she added, squeezing the hand for emphasis.

Merrill gulped and quickly nodded, but she knew she'd need to work her way up to that.

"Don't be ashamed, Merrill," the elf continued, slowly drawing open the blanket that was all that was hiding her from the outside world. "You're beautiful."

She still couldn't speak, but perhaps that was preferable to babbling like an idiot, or leaving her mouth gaping open like a fish. When the blanket fell to the ground, she didn't even notice that she wasn't cold anymore.

With a smile, Lyna unexpectedly knelt and lifted Merrill's right foot to gently guide it into her sandal. The First tried to sit down to help, but a whispered order from Lyna kept her standing as the elf slowly tied each sandal into place herself, taking the time to massage each foot as she did so. Even such a simple touch made Merrill's throat dry and her stomach feel funny.

Finished with that task, those strong hands of hers traveled slowly up her legs. Lyna smiled as she explored every curve and muscle and didn't stop until she reached her waist. Surely, Merrill thought, she would faint for real this time; Lyna Mahariel was on her knees, her bright, sapphire blue eyes staring up into her own, her lips inches from her most private of places -

"Lyna!" Merrill gasped and instantly shut her eyes when she felt the elf's nose rubbing against the thin patch of dark hair. _'Creators! What is she doing?'_ She hadn't done _this_ last night. Merrill definitely would've remembered that.

Achingly slowly, the huntress ran the flat of her tongue against the length of her sex and this time Lyna's name ended up coming out more like a squeak than anything else. It seemed to be the only word Merrill was capable of uttering.

She'd had a similar problem last night.

Impulsively, she grabbed the woman's hair to steady herself and the girl hummed against her. It was so very hard to keep standing. Part of her mind told her that it must be wrong to pull on her lover's hair like that, but she couldn't stop herself, and strangely, Lyna wasn't complaining. If anything it spurred her on.

It took practically no time at all before she was shuddering and crying out in release. Her eyes shut tightly, there was an immense flash of heat and the air about her felt charged with electricity. _'Uh oh,'_ she thought, perhaps that wasn't her imagination.

Lyna caught her easily when, suddenly boneless, Merrill pitched forward. In her haze, she felt herself being gently lowered until she was again lying on the bedroll, gasping almost as hard as she had last night.

Like a proud feline, Lyna dragged herself onto Merrill's naked lap. Her love must truly be a force of nature in its own right, the First thought to herself. Before she knew it, the woman's glistening lips were inches from her own, her eyes dark and predatory, her smile speaking volumes.

She still didn't fully understand it, why Mahariel had chosen her out of all the available members of the clan, but Merrill was quickly coming to the conclusion that it no longer mattered if she understood or not. Without hesitation, she kissed her again. She could taste herself on the woman's lips when she did so, but it didn't bother her in the slightest.

When she finally pulled back, Merrill opened her eyes to see Lyna bathed in the light of the morning sun and smiling brightly at her. She looked so very young and beautiful. It made her wish that they had done this years ago.

Lyna looked thoughtful, "You shocked me," she said.

Merrill couldn't think of what she might have done that was so surprising, after all, Lyna was the one constantly surprising her. "Really? What did I do?"

"No, I mean you _shocked_ me. For real this time."

Oh, that probably explained the smell of ionized air and why the strands of Lyna's hair were standing out on end. "Oh, sorry!" With a quick wave of her hand, the lingering magic dissipated.

Giggling, Lyna gave her a warm hug. "I liked it," she said, squeezing her tightly, "Next time we'll have to go much further from camp. I'd love to see what else we can do with that magic of yours, especially when there's no one around to hear us."

Merrill surprised herself with the eagerness with which she agreed to that. She'd make sure to pack a few lyrium potions.

Lyna's smile turned apologetic as the calls of chirping birds and other sounds of the morning forest made themselves heard. "I'd love to stay here forever, just like this, but we probably should be getting back..."

That was a fair point. Pretty soon, someone might notice they were both gone. Longingly, Merrill watched as Lyna stood up, still half-naked. Already, she felt a little less self-conscious about openly admiring her, but maybe that had something to do with what the woman had just done to her. She was still a little dumbstruck by how quickly the fire in her had been lit, and how hot and fast it had burnt, _and_ how she wanted to do it all again real soon.

At least her breathing was finally steady. "Are we still going to the cave today?" she asked.

The huntress nodded in response as she slowly buckled her belt, yet strangely Merrill thought she caught a tiny shadow of fear in the woman's eyes. But that was impossible; Lyna Mahariel wasn't afraid of anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't originally my intention for "Lyna and Merrill have sex" to require a chapter of its own, but due to a serious case of word count bloat, I've split chapter three into two parts. I'll post the already finished chapter four tonight and then go around editing things so it appears that it was always my intention to write a five chapter story, not four ^^


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

"Shattered Dreams" by Imrryr

Chapter 4 of 5

...

Midday...

...

" _Tamlen!_ "

That was Merrill's voice. Once they had found the cave, they spent a long time searching around the opening for any sign of their clan mate, but there was nothing, absolutely nothing.

And it had been _three_ days...

She could feel the cold wind at her back. Air went rushing into that damned hole in the ground like it was being pulled in by some unnatural force. And though she wracked her mind for the memory, she couldn't remember it doing that before when Tamlen had been here with her.

Disturbingly, there were fresh tracks in the mud leading out of the cave. She searched for ones that might belong to her friend, but the large tracks obscured everything... and whatever species they had belonged to, they certainly weren't Dalish.

Fenarel was crouching beside her. He had insisted on coming along, and while Lyna would've liked additional time alone with Merrill, even in that dank cave, she had to admit that it wouldn't hurt to have the expert hunter alongside them. Especially if who or _what_ ever made these footprints decided to return.

"I've never seen tracks like these before," he said, brow furrowed.

_'Oh, that's just great,'_ she thought. If Fenarel of all people couldn't identify a print, well, that didn't exactly fill her with confidence about what they were about to face.

Lyna shook her head as she continued staring into the abyss before her. She could hear the sounds of rustling grass announcing Merrill's return, but strangely there was nothing else besides the wind. All of them had noticed that. There were no birds, no crickets, no signs of life of any kind. Even the nearby plants appeared to be dying.

It was all very unsettling.

But there was something... something on the very edge of perception. Something more than just the faint howl of the wind. Something akin to distant whispering. She tilted her head to try to hear it better but it was no use.

"Lyna?"

The elf blinked. Merrill and Fenarel had odd expressions on their faces. How long had they been staring? "Don't you hear that?" she asked.

It was Fenarel who spoke, "Hear what?"

Lyna closed her eyes and shook her head. The whispering was gone. Had she imagined it?

Merrill spoke next, "Are you okay?"

_'Not really,'_ she thought. There was a sinking feeling in her chest that just wouldn't go away. If she didn't know better, she'd call it fear. It was humiliating. She tried to brush it off, "Why do you ask?"

"You do look a little pale, now that Merrill's mentioned it," Fenarel said.

"It's nothing," she muttered as she stepped forward, "Come on. Let's get this over with." _'Fly straight and do not waver,'_ she repeated in her mind as she entered the abyss. _'Tamlen needs us.'_

...

"So, these are the ruins? They're not very pretty, are they?"

Lyna cracked a smile, the first one since leaving camp. The disturbed air in this underground structure seemed just a little less oppressive with Merrill in it. Fenaral kept several paces behind, guarding their backs while the two of them searched for any sign of Tamlen. "It could use more natural light, I think," Lyna said. "And a few less giant spiders..."

Around them the magical braziers and torches still burned, though it had been days since she had last been here. Had they really been burning since the days of Arlathan?

Merrill's constant presence kept her mind off the strange, unsettling feelings she'd been having lately; but the elf had been right. She had seen in the light outside just how unusually pale her skin was, and she felt a fatigue that had nothing to do with a lack of sleep.

She felt exhausted, and not a little bit ill. Maybe she would talk to a healer when this was over...

"I've seen places like this before," Merrill was saying, "I'm pretty sure this is human... possibly Tevinter, I'm not really sure. But look," she pointed to a large pot lying shattered on the floor, "that's elven... and so are these designs carved onto the walls."

Lyna frowned. So this place really was a mix of human and elven. The idea disturbed her. There were no ancient stories about humans and elves living together in peace... certainly not in such a place as this one with its horrible stench of death.

Then a sound came from some other room, an evil laughter echoing down the hallways. She could tell from Merrill's tensed posture that she had heard it too. Lyna silently thanked the creators that she hadn't gone insane - at least not yet.

"Darkspawn!" Fenarel shouted. There was no time to ask him how he knew that. They were already here. An instant later, she heard the sound of a bow being drawn back and then an arrow let loose before she had even unsheathed her knives.

Just then, another tall, green skinned creature appeared from a side room. It looked down on her, sniffing the air with raspy breaths before letting out a deep, bass laugh. Lyna felt a rising anger she couldn't explain. Maybe she blamed this thing for Tamlen's likely death. Maybe it was the unexplainable feeling that it knew something that she didn't. _'Dammit!'_ she thought. _'Why were these things here, and where was Tamlen?!'_

The undead creatures she had seen before were horrible, but these... these were so much worse. She'd heard stories about the darkspawn, but nothing Hahren Paivel ever said had prepared her for the real thing. The way their skin hung on their scarred faces, their rotted jagged teeth, their filth encrusted armor -

Then the wind picked up. And _gods_ , Lyna thought, they smelled even worse than they looked.

Whatever it was, she hated the thing more than she ever hated anything before. It didn't belong in this world.

Letting out a battle cry, Lyna lunged forward with her knives, determined to keep the foul thing as far away from Merrill as possible. Unfortunately, the damned creature was no mindless zombie. It blocked her attacks and with unnatural strength sent her hard to the floor with a strike from the butt of its rusty sword.

Quickly, Lyna rolled out of the way of another strike but found herself badly dazed. Her heart pounded in her ears. How was she supposed to stop this damned thing?

Just as she was about to jump to her feet, a bright light filled the room and someone screamed. To Lyna's shock, it was the darkspawn. She watched in horrified fascination as it burned to death before her very eyes.

Small sandaled feet quickly approached and she blearily looked up to see Merrill offering her a hand.

She had never fought alongside a mage before and she found that she had no words to describe her awe. Magic was something rarely seen, even in a Dalish camp with two mages; Keepers and their apprentices seldom practiced the old art in public. If she ever sparred with Merrill she'd surely lose.

Merrill ducked her head in a sort of half bow when Lyna thanked her. "Oh, you're bleeding!" she said. Wiping her hands clean on the green scarf around her neck, she gently rubbed a finger over the cut on Lyna's face. For a second, the huntress forgot where she was. All her worries faded as she looked into those endless green eyes as the woman sealed the wound. _'So very beautiful,'_ she thought.

A loud cough sent them both recoiling from each other they'd just received an electric shock. It was Fenarel, and his expression was very amused. Lyna finally noticed the two dead darkspawn behind him, each felled with an arrow to the eye. He nodded in their direction, "When you're ready," he said.

"Oh, um... yes," Lyna said a little breathlessly. "I think it's this way." She pointed down the long highway behind her. The giant holes punched through the cobwebs told of something having been through there recently. It was also the direction the still blowing breeze was moving in.

"You're sure?" he asked.

Lyna nodded. "Pretty sure," she replied, scratching at her temple. "Though, we may have had to backtrack a few times."

Merrill looked up at her with hopeful eyes. "You're remembering more?"

The huntress smiled as she sheathed her knives. "Bits and pieces." Some of those bits had been disturbing her thoughts ever since she'd returned to this place, and it wasn't just the distant voices she could swear she still heard. No, in her mind she saw things too: black indistinct creatures against a background of fire... another much larger, more disturbing silhouette that looked strangely elven, yet had the body of... something else... she'd didn't know what. Where could she have possibly seen such a thing? Surely, not in this place buried just a few feet under the forest floor?

Merrill rubbed a hand along the stone walls as they walked. "This architecture is strange. It's definitely of human origin... but what would Elven statues be doing here? And, of course, nothing explains the monsters."

Lyna couldn't help but smile back at her. Despite the darkness, the cobwebs and the dead things strewn about on the floor, Merrill took in every detail with an almost child-like sense of wonder. As the three of them continued through the near maze of corridors, the huntress kept an eye on her lover. The sight of Merrill so enraptured made everything bearable. She was a like a candle in the dark.

"This place is amazing," she drawled, "but it feels like it's been... _tainted_ by something."

Lyna nodded. She could feel it too. No matter how horrible the shems were, surely they wouldn't build something as foul as this place on purpose. But what had happened here?

...

It was some time before they came across anything of interest. Some of the rooms held ancient scrolls and books, but unfortunately, nearly all of them were unreadable, and the ones that looked more promising were so brittle that Merrill was afraid to even touch them lest they crumble into dust.

But eventually they came across something more substantial, an ancient statue of Falon'Din that seemed strangely familiar.

Merrill smiled at it as she inspected its exaggerated form closely. "It doesn't look much like your carvings, does it?"

Lyna grunted. Every piece of Elven history was a treasure, but she wasn't sure she liked the look of these statues so much. They were too stylized for her liking, too detached from the real world. Though, of course, she had never seen a god before.

"Find anything?" Fenarel asked. His tone betrayed a slight annoyance at their constant stopping and examining of artifacts.

"Just this statue," Merrill said. "We can come back for it later. We have to find Tamlen - or what's left of him. I can't imagine he's still alive with those creatures about."

The huntress swallowed involuntarily.

Wind continued to blow through these halls, and if anything it was louder than before. There was something familiar about this hallway. "This way, I think," she mumbled as she continued down it until confronted by a blue light to her right that did not come from any magical brazier. Lyna stopped dead in her tracks and her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest.

Footfalls quickly approached her. "Lyna?" It was Merrill's voice. "What is -" Turning her head, the First finally caught sight of what the huntress was looking at.

Suddenly, it all came rushing back to to her. There was that mirror, _that's_ what they had found before everything went black and Tamlen disappeared. The air was roiling around it now, rushing into it somehow.

Unbelievably, Fenarel's voice sounded almost frightened, "What _is_ that thing?" he asked.

"I -" Lyna stopped... she had no idea.

Without a word, Merrill was already making her way into the room.

Fenarel was quick to volunteer to watch the hall. He seemed to frown slightly as he watched Merrill fearlessly approach the mirror and began closely examining one of the statues flanking it. "Keep an eye on her," he added. "You know how she gets."

Lyna nodded. She understood the humor in his tone. When confronted by ancient elven artifacts Merrill could easily forget the world around her existed, but she didn't laugh this time. Exhaling deeply, she steeled herself and tried her best to walk confidently into the room, keeping one eye on the mirror at all times. She didn't know why, but she didn't like it.

Now Merrill was sitting on one of the steps leading up to the flat, wind attracting surface, closely examining the writing at the base of the statues.

The other elf stood several yards away from that _thing_ in the center of the room. She would let Merrill investigate, but there was something wrong with that _whatever it was_ , she just knew it. The whispers returned louder than before, but neither Merrill nor Fenarel seemed to be aware of it.

In frustration, she clenched her fists. _'Go away,'_ she thought, but the sounds wouldn't listen. In fact, they seemed to laugh in response. It reminded her of the way the darkspawn had laughed at her. Why did it laugh? Because it felt she was weak? Or was it something else?

She looked around the room for something to distract her and then recoiled in horror. On the floor, near the wall, lay Tamlen's sword, and not too far away was his bow. She stepped back. No Dalish would be without their weapons. How would he have defended himself against the monsters they had just killed?

Still, there was no other sign of him in this room. Her heart-rate steadied a bit. Maybe he really was lost in the woods...

Meanwhile, Merrill only had eyes for that mirror. "I don't think this is Tevinter at all. These statues certainly are, but the mirror... look at this writing around the edge," she said, gesturing at Lyna to come. She was too absorbed in what she was doing to know that Lyna had her back pressed firmly against the crumbling stone wall. "It's Elvish, I'm sure of it -"

Merrill didn't see the way the mirror suddenly flickered. A distant frenzied scream cut through Lyna's mind like a knife. She grabbed her head as a sharp flash of pain wracked her body and sent her stumbling, her hand just catching a hanging root in time to stop her fall. Thankfully, Merrill hadn't seen that either. "Bend, but never break," she whispered to herself. It was the Vir Bor'assan, the Way of the Bow. She didn't know what was wrong with her, but it didn't matter. She had to be strong. She had to stand up.

Merrill still wasn't paying her the least bit of attention. When she looked up again, Lyna was horrified to see how the elf had ascended the steps and was now holding her hand up to the mirror's surface, looking at it as if it were something beautiful to be admired.

Lyna couldn't explain the sudden pang of jealousy she felt, but it was there all the same.

The green glow of some kind of earth magic came from the First's outstretched hand, but the mirror grew increasingly disturbed. Something passed quickly through Lyna's mind: an image of Tamlen in front of this very same mirror, holding his hand to the surface in that very same way.

"No!" she cried out. "Merrill! Stay away from it!"

Merrill whirled around, surprised by the tone of Lyna's voice. At the sight of the elf's panic stricken expression, Merrill turned back and gasped at what she saw. The mirror's surface had grown blood red. Her eyes darted across its surface in utter fascination. Again, she raised her hand...

Lyna heard pounding footsteps as Fenarel entered the room. She repeated Merrill's name more calmly but this time the other woman didn't return her gaze. "Just let me look," she said.

_"Can you feel that?"_ Tamlen had asked. _" I think it knows we're here. I just need to take a closer look..."_

_"Tamlen, wait!"_

_"Just let me look."_

The disturbing, alien sounds from the mirror grew in volume. There were voices, definitely voices of some kind... Fenarel stood stock still, his mouth hanging open. In desperation, Lyna's eyes darted across the room. Finding Tamlen's discarded sword again, she swept it off the floor and threw it at the mirror with every last ounce of her strength.

With a blinding flash and an ear-splitting shriek, the ancient artifact shattered into a hundred pieces.

Lyna reeled. that oppressive feeling of wrongness lifted from the air the instant she broke the cursed thing. The world felt right again, but why did she suddenly feel so sick? She grabbed her stomach as sharp stings of pain shot through it, traveled up her spine and into her head. She screamed.

When she regained her senses, Merrill was looking around in a half-daze, apparently baffled by the destruction, her mouth hanging open in disbelief. When she could finally find the words she was looking for, what she said made Mahariel cower, "How could you, Lyna?! How could you just destroy it like that? We didn't even know what it was!"

The proud huntress struggled not to cry right then and there. It was like something out of her worst nightmares. "Couldn't you feel it?" she shouted back, her voice breaking, "The mirror was tainted!"

Merrill's eyes flashed with never before seen anger. "That mirror belonged to our people!"

Again, more shots of pain traveled through her body sending Lyna stumbling backwards onto the floor, she felt like she was going to be sick. Desperately, she begged her friend as she clutched her heaving stomach. There was a physical pain she couldn't begin to describe, but it was dwarfed by what she felt when she looked into her lover's outraged eyes. "Merrill, _please_..."

The angry expression faded instantly. "Lyna," she gasped, "You don't look so good..."

"I want to go home," she said as the two elves gathered around her. The world began to grow dark, and before her horrified eyes she saw ugly, purple bruises appear on her pale skin, just like those she had seen on that bear monster a few days before.

The expression in her eyes stopped both Merrill and Fenarel in their tracks. Tears fell from Lyna's cheeks. She was absolutely terrified. " _Please,"_ she repeated. _"I want to go home_."

* * *

Three days later...

...

"There is nothing more I can do for her, da'len. I've tried everything within my power, yet the corruption remains..."

The young apprentice paced back and forth on the wooden floor of the Keeper's aravel. "If only she hadn't destroyed the mirror, maybe I could've found some way to cure her..."

"I know of no way to remove the corruption from the fragment you've shown me, and I could extract nothing from the books you brought back. There was nothing you could've done."

Merrill hung her head.

"It is the same taint I felt on that darkspawn corpse the hunters brought to me. You were lucky it did not infect you too. There is no defense against it. No cure that we know of."

"Nothing at all?"

Marethari seemed to think for a moment. "No. The Grey Wardens might know -"

The First's expression brightened, she'd heard stories of the wardens, though she didn't understand how they could possibly help. "Where can we find one?"

The Keeper shook her head. "I would not know where to look. The closest wardens are likely to be in the Deep Roads."

Merrill blinked. ' _The Deep Roads?'_ Their fastest runners would take weeks to reach even the entrances to them. Creators! How could this be happening? Everything was getting blurry for some reason. It was like a nightmare that she couldn't escape from. How could something like this happen to Lyna Mahariel? She was so brave, and strong and clever. How could she be destined to simply wither away?

" _Da'len_ ," the Keeper's voice seemed to be wavering.

She felt something running down her cheeks. _'Oh,'_ Merrill thought, finally realizing she was crying. It looked like maybe Marethari was crying too, but it was hard to be certain of anything past the tears in her own eyes. She knew she wasn't imagining the Keeper's hand on her back, however.

No word passed between them for a time as Merrill struggled to stop herself. "I'm sorry," she said eventually.

"Do not apologize, da'len."

The elf was still sniffling and wiping at her eyes every once and a while, "If I can't save her, what _can_ I do?"

"Go to her," was all the Keeper said.

...

When she entered the tent, Merrill found Lyna sitting on her bedroll with her arms wrapped tightly around her knees and her face buried in them. Some of her carvings were scattered about her, but it didn't look like she had worked on them much. Only when Merrill called out her name did the huntress look up and regard her with sad, bloodshot eyes. It was obvious she had been crying too; her face was red and her hair was a complete mess, though Marethari's magic had at least removed those horrible bruises...

Merrill struggled to find her voice and when she finally did it cracked as she spoke, "I'm sorry... about what I said. I didn't mean it."

Lyna nodded but her attention returned to her knees. She looked completely miserable.

Cautiously, the First joined her on the bedroll, mimicking Lyna's position and scooting forward until their bare feet were touching. She struggled to think of something to say that wouldn't just make everything worse. "You were trying to protect me, so that what happened to Tamlen wouldn't happen to me. I understand that now." The rest went unsaid; whatever had happened to Tamlen was also happening to Lyna.

Another nod, but the elf still wouldn't meet her gaze.

Merrill leaned forward and found herself pleading with the girl, "Please," she said, " _look at me_."

Lyna finally did so, and maybe it was the light, but it seemed that her eyes had lost that fire Merrill was so used to seeing in them. The huntress looked exhausted... beyond exhausted, even. It was like a part of her was already gone. It was the most frightening thing Merrill had ever seen.

Lyna Mahariel was going to die and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

It was only when Lyna finally answered that she noticed how badly chapped the elf's lips were. Her voice sounded raw, like she hadn't spoken in months, "The Keeper can't help me..."

Merrill shook her head. "Maybe – maybe there's something I can do. I could go through the Keeper's books again. There must be _something_."

The faintest hint of a smile appeared on those lips. It was the first smile she had seen in days from a girl who until just last week was easily the most naturally cheerful person in the entire clan.

"I know you," she said. "You've looked through those books a hundred times already."

The First had to look away from those knowing eyes. It was all true. There was nothing to be done. Her heart sank in her chest. Tears were running down her face again, and to think, just a moment ago she had been so certain that there were no more tears left in her to cry...

Lyna shifted forward and wrapped her arms around the younger woman. The way she said her name made the First's heart ache even more.

Merrill latched onto the other girl as if to physically keep her here forever. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She repeated the words over and over again with no idea of what she was even apologizing for. She wailed until she felt as exhausted as Lyna looked.

Eventually, the soothing sound of Mahariel's voice calmed her to the point where she was only sniffling again. She felt utterly useless, but for some inexplicable reason, Lyna didn't seem to think so. She was still petting her hair, calming her despite the fact that Merrill knew she should be the one comforting _her_. "Just stay with me," she asked softly.

Merrill hugged her tightly. "Together we are stronger than one," she whispered aloud. Lyna squeezed back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter to go. Thanks again for the reviews, faves and alerts. They keep me motivated, even when it takes me ages to update :) I'm not sure how long it will be before the final chapter is done. Probably several weeks, to be honest :(


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